This is not gonna be one of those posts where I condemn sex and preach abstinence and all of that because for one, it would be highly, highly hypocritical of me and two, I have my own personal beliefs on sex/virginity as well as my own interpretation of God & sex – but that’s neither here nor there so I won’t make this post “too deep”.
First off, let me start off by saying that your virginity — and I am addressing my female counterpart specifically here, is one of the most precious gifts that you have. It is the one thing that you will never get back. You can practice abstinence or become “clean” again in the sight of God but as far as “getting that old thing back”, gon on and let that go girl because it’s gone and never coming back lol. But please, do not fret or feel depressed about it….or worse, become reckless about it, accept it, talk to God about it and then move on. There’s no point of carrying unnecessary baggage.
I’m not sure if it’s just a societal thing or what but it seems as though the idea of a female being a virgin is less and less conceivable past a certain age. It’s as though sex is the norm, it’s the thing to do because it’s all over billboards and movies, t.v. shows, and even simple things such as a shampoo commercial -_-. People are the island and sex is the water that is surrounding us. It really does drive that statement of, “well everyone is doing it.” But, whether people want to believe it or not, virgins exist lol. For one reason or the other, whether by choice or otherwise, but due to the content of this material, let’s go ahead and focus on the virgins who are virgins by CHOICE. But what is virginity? The word “virgin” has evolved from “being pure of all physical, sexual acts” to “as long as I don’t have ‘real sex’ then I am a virgin”. Wait what? I’m sorry but there is no such thing as “real virgin”, “fake virgin”, or my favorite one, “I’m only 1/2 a virgin.” -_-. Virginity is abstaining from ALL sexual acts; and yes this does include oral stimulation. If you are performing fellatio and not engaging in intercourse, sorry boo but you are by no means a virgin. Don’t be fooled. And don’t fool yourself. The choice, however, to remain a virgin definitely has its pros with the lack of unnecessary soul ties to multiple men being the most important one in my opinion. People tend to underestimate the power of a soul-tie but those bonds that we have to people are very powerful. They can literally kill you if you are’t careful which is why it is so important to guard your heart and guard the things that you value about yourself.
Sex and relationships are simply NOT SYNONYMOUS with one another. Just because you are dating someone or you have a title does not mean that you are obligated to do anything physical with that person. Love and sex are not synonymous either because a man can love you and be deep with you and still be feeling someone else. Just because you have had sex before does not mean you have to engage in sexual acts with any and everyone. A man who VALUES you will value ALL of you. There will be no “pressure” or “guilt” or “shame”. There will be no need to feel that if you don’t just give it up already that he is going to leave. If the worse thing a man can do is leave because you won’t have sex with him, isn’t that in essence a blessing? If he can’t even cherish you enough/respect you enough to WAIT on the gift that is you, well, isn’t that an indicator of how the relationship will play out? Do you seriously want a selfish man? A man who sees what’s between your thighs as the only value and esteem that you have? No. There comes a point when you really have to ask yourself, “is this what I deserve? Is having sex/giving up my virginity WORTH my self esteem, self respect, and self dignity?” You price yourself and based off of that price is what you will allow and not allow. Ladies, these men are not stupid. They KNOW your price but they will test you and haggle you if they see a leeway. It is solely up to you if you are going to bargain your worth or be firm. Lower yourself for what? For 5 minutes of “pleasure” and then a lifetime of soul ties? I’ll pass. Don’t ever lower yourself to meet someone else’s standards when they should rise to where you are at. (And vice versa.)
I’m going to leave off here and continue in another post, so bare with me y’all. My mind has so much to say but I want to get this across in the most effective way possible. Keep on the look out for a possible video 🙂
See you all in the next post!