Priorities. The things that are most important to you in your life right now. The things that you are the most willing to make time for and dedicate your all to before anything else….those are your priorities.
Right now I am going through a season of change. People and situations that used to matter so much to me, they don’t really matter much to me as of late. It has nothing to do with the actual people per se, it is just that as I become more aware of what I want from life, I also realize that my time and my experience on earth is so limited. There is no “re-do” day of anything; there is only “learned lessons”, “missed opportunities”, and “regret”. I, however, choose to not be involved in regret. Whether it is regret because of fear, or regret because of pride. I also do not want to miss out on any opportunities because I am not actively, effectively, and consistently investing time into myself and my wants. It is extremely necessary that I become selfish in my purpose and selfish for my destiny. Whatever that is.
A lot of the time that I have invested into certain things are not growing. I have yet to really reap anything. So it makes me wonder if the things that I am sowing into are even fertile ground or the right ground at all. For what is sowing into a ground that reaps no harvest? Is it not a waste? I dislike the fact that I can come off so whine-y or needy, because that really is not me. I am a vocal person. I speak on what I feel because if I don’t, then I get physically ill. Mentally and emotionally as well. I just don’t feel that I am as much of priority in other people’s lives as they are in mine. My main priority for relationships and friendships is honesty & realness. I want to be able to go deep and have thought provoking conversations. I get so bored with the everyday conundrum of life and the mundane conversations. I want something NEW. I want something that I have never ever witnessed before. But I guess step one in discovering something new is for me to become someone new, right? I have to be open minded and allow my soul to RECEIVE. Talk to new people, go to new places….blog more. Lol.
I honestly think that the best thing for me is to do what everyone else has been doing —- following their passions and focusing on themselves. I tend to get to involved with people and I put them in positions that they do not rightfully deserve. It is so unfair to me. People need to work for the position of CEO in your life; my life especially. “History” means nothing if trust has been dissipated. I have such a great disdain for this stagnant and mediocre place of my life at the moment. So I see that I need to give a little less and receive a little more because as of now my life is quite unbalanced.
What are yours?